I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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