toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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