I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i think my cat just said my name.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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