I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Small penises have feelings too.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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