are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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