I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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