It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
