You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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