he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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