I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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