DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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