even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
