I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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