He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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