I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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