ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.