My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.