I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own