Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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