I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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