My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
