you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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