What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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