she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize