Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
birth control should be required to get into college
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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