In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
