Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.