I'm so fucking centered right now
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Watching her eat just hurts me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out