i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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