idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You need a sexual gate keeper
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
