she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize