im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize