I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize