My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
