I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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