no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
