Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?