Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS