All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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