I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
