I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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