ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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