Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
