no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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