i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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