Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
