I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
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Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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