yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.