Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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