I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize