someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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