Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
