I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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