hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
